Alias: Velcro Vixen
Title: Shadowstep Daughter of Venus
Age: 3
Bloodline: Venus × (allegedly again) Jupiter
Known For:
– Gravitational cling
– Surprise heists
– Masked mischief
– Equal parts love and loophole
Profile:
Step lightly, speak softly, and keep your cabinets latched — for Cali walks among us.
Born of Venus in a litter of six, Cali arrived with a mask on her face and larceny in her soul. From day one, it was clear: this cat didn’t just look like a burglar — she was one. If it can be opened, she’s been inside it. If it was once whole, she has investigated its ability to be…less so. And if you ever ask “Where is that thing I just put down?” — the answer, inevitably, is “Cali.”
Nicknamed Velcro, Cali has mastered the art of cling. Whether it’s a curtain, your leg, or your soul, once she latches on, she does not let go. Physically or emotionally. It’s a feature, not a bug.
But in Cali’s defense, she’s had to forge herself in fire. The loss of her brothers Johnny and Panda1 was a devastating blow — both emotionally and socially — leaving her without her bonded playmates. Add to that the womanizing whirlwind that is her surviving brother UrShuri (pictured here in all his smug glory), and it’s no wonder Cali had to toughen up and learn to rely on her own masked instincts.
Her family tree is a gnarled oak of intrigue and suspicion.
There are whispers — persistent ones — that Cali’s father may also be her grandfather: the legendary tripod rogue Jupiter. This would explain a lot. The acrobatic burglary skills. The unblinking confidence. The urge to dismantle flowerpots at 2 a.m. It’s all very Jupiterian.
Despite the loss, the chaos, and the ever-spinning drama wheel of feline family politics, Cali remains a grounded and consistent presence at the Ozarks Church of Nature and Magical Food Forest. Alongside her sisters Panda Girl and Pele, and her aforementioned scandal magnet of a brother, Cali represents the mysterious, semi-feral brilliance of her generation — each of them half-wild, half-poet, and 100% opinionated.
Cali is many things:
- A cat-shaped crowbar.
- A fuzzy boomerang with attitude.
- A master of escape…and entanglement.
- The granddaughter of a grumpy goddess.
- Possibly a time traveler with unfinished business.
And most of all, she is a cherished and irreplaceable spirit of the Ozarks Church of Nature and Magical Food Forest, where she continues her reign as Goddess of Light Theft and Heavy Purring.
Long may she cling, pounce, and plunder — Cali, our masked enigma with the stickiest paws and the softest heart.
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